Welcome to geoff.com.au. There is probably nothing exciting to see here. A rant or two about the world. Maybe some coding issues or things I have come across in my current projects. Some more rants about the world. I think that pretty much sums it up!

For years I have had heaps of web sites to manage - hundreds infact - and little bits of information and dodads going all over the place. Hopefully this site will act as a place for them all to go. Any mayby, just maybe, something that will help somone else - or at least put a smile on your face.

Steven Wright

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famously erudite scientist and comic who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement and amusement.

Here are some of his gems:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

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Change the Breadcrumb of an UberCart Product

For a watch site, we want the breadcrumb for a watch to read

Home >> Brand >> Watch

To do this, we create or edit the theme's template.php file and add a function.

In this case we have a sub-theme of Marinelli. This has its own breadcrumb function.

We just want to append the brand and let the core-theme function do the rest of the work.

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Drupal Modules:

Get the URL of a Node or Term in Drupal 7

Given a Node or Taxonomy Term - or any "entity" based object

Get the Current NID and Node for a Page in Drupal 7

Anywere in code, if you want the current NID or Node for that page - if it exists - use this

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Economic Models Explained with Cows

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
milk away...

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The Secret of my Success

This comes from 2 maths teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. Experience.

It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this: 

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? 

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life? 

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If cars where designed by Microsoft

At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 

'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'
 
In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

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Why We Like The British

FROM BRITISH NEWSPAPERS...

1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)

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All Nodes for a Particular Type in Drupal 7

This collects all NID's for nodes

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Show all available variables

Sometime when working with an API, you have a heap of variables available - but what are they?

You can use the PHP function 

get_defined_vars();

In Drupal, if you have the Devel module enaled, you can also use 

dpm(get_defined_vars());

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